Evil Little Prankster
by bellapouts
Summary: The gang is forced to spend one whole night at home by Carlisle and Esme. But someone is pulling pranks and getting the others into trouble. Sleeping tablets, Emmett's jeep, Emmett looking at porn on Carlisle's computer, snails, delivery guy, pranks...R
1. Emmett Lucy Cullen

_Disclaimer: Sadly, I do not own twilight. Stephenie Meyer does. _

_Hey there guys! It's my first story and I'd like to see people's opinion of it. This will not be a one-shot; I plan on having a few more chapters in follow-up of this chapter and already have ideas for more stories. After I get a couple of reviews for this I'll go straight onto the next chapter. Please rate and review! _

**BPOV**  
"Bella!" Edward's voice sang. I looked up from my feet to see Edward standing in front of me. "What did Emmett want?" I asked.

Edward rolled his eyes. "Oh you know Emmett; he was planning a prank on you. But I wouldn't let him."

"Oh." That was just about all I could manage to say. Edward was dazzling me again. His golden eyes locked with mine and I felt myself blush. He smiled. "How about we go out tonight?" he asked. I nodded. "Sure."

We had spent the whole Saturday at his house. Charlie was watching the game with Billy; I was getting used to seeing Billy sitting in his wheelchair every day in front of the television with Charlie, and had no objection. But I think both Charlie and Billy would have preferred me be with Jacob, rather than Edward. But I could never let Edward go. He was my everything, he was my other half. Sure, Jacob was a great friend, but that was all I could ever imagine him as – a friend.

"Let's go now then" said Edward. I stood and smiled at him. We descended the stairs and walked into his living room, to see Esme and Carlisle arguing with Jasper, Alice, Emmett and Rosalie.

"That totally sucks!" whined Rosalie.

"Tough" replied Esme, "Just for once it would be nice to be all together as a family!" She turned to us. "Where are you two off to?"

I looked up at Edward and he placed a hand on my shoulder. "I was merely taking Bella out for dinner" replied Edward.

"That's not fair!" shrieked Emmett, "They get to go out while we sit here and suffer?" I was confused now. What was he talking about?

"What are you on about?" I asked him.

Esme sighed. "It's been a long time since we've all been together in the house. The children are always out hunting, Alice and Rosalie spend their lives at the mall, usually taking Jasper and Emmett with them, Edward is always at Bella's, Bella is always at home… there's always someone who isn't here."

"Which is why," interrupted Carlisle, "We have decided to make you all stay here tonight, a time for family. If not, then you can all say your goodbyes to your cars and bank accounts. Of course Bella, no one's forcing you. It's entirely your decision."

That was true, and now that I really thought about it, it _had _been a while since we had all been together…

"Sure, I'll just have to ring Charlie and tell him Alice and I are having a girls night" I said smiling. Esme smiled her warm Esme smile at me.

Alice scowled. "It's not _us _you need to blame. We can't be cooped up inside all day, and Carlisle spends most of his time down at the hospital, and when he's not there, he's here in his office surrounded by paperwork!"

Edward snickered. "Yes Alice, but you can't blame Carlisle. You're the shopaholic of the family, always making regular trips to the mall."

Alice opened her mouth to reply but was hushed by Esme. "Don't start bickering. It's been decided. We're all spending tonight here _together_. That's all we ask. From 6PM tonight till 6PM tomorrow night."

Emmett looked over at Rosalie and squeezed her bum, pinned her to the ground and began kissing every inch of her. Jasper howled with laughter. "Don't be offended if we leave the room Emmett, that's X rated stuff you're doing." Emmett pulled himself off of Rosalie and growled at Jasper. "Do you mind?" he asked angrily, "It's hard to control myself if you're sending out waves of lust every five seconds!"

Jasper grinned. "Okay Emmett, I won't throw any more emotions at you… just yet." A wave of happiness washed over me and I turned to face Edward. My lips locked with his and we pulled away grinning. "Thanks Jasper" I muttered, grinning. Of course, Edward with his vampire hearing just _had _to hear that. He began grinning. "Perhaps Jasper should send out waves of lust more often" he grinned. Emmett howled with laughter and began rolling around on the floor. "HAHA!" he laughed. Edward raised an eyebrow at Jasper. "Don't blame me! That's entirely _his _doing!" laughed Jasper.

It was only then that I noticed Esme and Carlisle had left the room, probably to get away from their extremely crazy children. Alice was still scowling. Rosalie wrinkled her nose. "That's getting really irritating Alice! We could always play a prank on them to get back at them." Alice sat up straight and smiled. "Good idea Rosalie! I've got a perfect idea!" and with that, she left the room clutching her cell phone. Edward laughed. "What…?" I asked, clueless. He grinned. "Wait and see."

My tummy grumbled. I hadn't eaten lunch, and until now, I hadn't realised how hungry I was. "Hungry?" asked Edward.

"Very" I replied.

All of a sudden we were standing in darkness. "Power failure" muttered Rosalie. I could just make out her shape in the darkness.

"Alright, who did it?" came Esme's voice.

"Probably Emmett!" cried Alice from the other room.

"Emmett" said Jasper.

"Emmett Cullen!" shrieked Rosalie.

I heard Edward chuckle. "Emmett!"

"Wait till I get my hands on him…" came Carlisle's voice.

"Emmett" I giggled.

"ME?" asked Emmett.

"YOU!" everyone yelled.

"Why does everyone always blame ME?" he asked.

"Because it usually turns out to be you" replied Edward.

"Why does everyone always blame ME?" he asked again.

"Okay we get it!" Jasper muttered.

Just then, the power was restored and the lights came on again. "See? Nothing to worry about" grinned Emmett.

"Gah! All of that work on the computer, GONE!" shrieked Carlisle from the other room. "Now I'll have to start all over again, stay away from the power Emmett!"

Emmett frowned. "But it wasn't me!" he growled. "Well then tough guy, who was it?" asked Edward. Emmett shrugged.

Edward turned to Jasper. "I'll bet you it was Emmett!"

Jasper flashed his perfect white teeth. "I'll bet you it wasn't."

Edward rolled his eyes. "You're on."

"How much?" asked Jasper. This time it was me rolling my eyes. Edward, Jasper and Emmett were always betting. It was a bit of an… addiction.

"Twenty!"

"Thirty!"

"Fifty!"

"Sixty!"

"One hundred and fifty!"

"One hundred!"

"One hundred and ten!"

Jasper flashed Edward another smile. "You're on!" Jasper grinned. Then he turned to Emmett. "It better not have been you" he growled. Emmett banged his hand on the coffee table. "It wasn't! Edward will be paying you one hundred and ten dollars!" he yelled. I stared down at the coffee table. It was unnecessary, Vampires couldn't eat or drink… well, they could only drink blood…

Just then, the doorbell rang. Me, being the closest, opened it to see a young guy, probably around my age standing there holding a package.

"Delivery for Emmett Lucy Cullen."


	2. GET OFF ME YOU LITTLE SLIMY!

_Disclaimer: It'd be great to own twilight… but I don't…_

_This chapter was a little harder to write than the first one, since I didn't know what I was going to have in it… but it's all leading up to one big event, which I hope you all like. I was very pleased with the reviews and subscriptions I got for the first chapter. And please, if you're liking the story, rate and review!_

BPOV  
"LUCY?!?" shrieked Emmett, "SINCE WHEN WAS MY MIDDLE NAME LUCY?"

Everyone howled with laughter. The delivery boy was standing in the doorway raising an eyebrow at Emmett. "The caller ordered it for Emmett Lucy Cullen" he simply said. Emmett stopped growling and walked over to the door. "Caller? Who was the caller?" he asked.

"Sorry, I'm not allowed to tell you. The caller said it was a birthday present for you. Said you'd been wanting these for decades… not that you even look a decade old now…" said the boy. "WHAT? My birthdays not for another six months!" yelled Emmett. The delivery boy held out the package and Emmett took it. "Happy birthday weirdo" he muttered, before turning and running to his car.

Edward locked eye contact with Alice and they both howled with laughter. Emmett ignored them and opened the package. I watched the anger leave his face. Instead, it was replaced with curiosity. "A bra and a box of tampons?" he wondered aloud. Then he handed them to me. "There must have been some sort of mistake, these must be yours." I pushed the package back to him, giggling. "No way, that bras way too big for me!" I giggled.

Emmett growled. "Alright, who sent it?" he growled. No one said a word. I looked over at Alice, Rosalie and Jasper. Their faces were blank, expressing no emotion. "It's someone's idea of a joke, Emmett" I said, breaking the silence. Emmett threw the box at the floor. Suddenly, we were in darkness – again.

"Not again…" whined Carlisle.

"Don't blame me!" Emmett.

I screamed as something slimy brushed against my arm.

"Are you okay?" muttered Edward. I snuggled into his chest and felt my arm. "I think someone put something on my arm" I whispered. "It was Jasper" replied Edward.

"Okay! I can't suppress it much longer Bella. It was just funny to make you scream!" laughed Jasper. I frowned in the dark. "Oh sure… very funny" I muttered. The power was restored again and I felt Edward's breath on my skin. My heart skipped and I blushed – again.

The doorbell rang – again. Alice danced over to the door and opened it.

"Delivery for Bella Cullen!"

Bella Cullen… I had never really considered the name. But I had to now. Edward and I are engaged, and our wedding is next week. And as soon as we're married… I'm going to ask him to change me. That was his condition. For me to marry him, and then, and only then, would he change me himself. I guess I wasn't so scared of commitment anymore, but the freight was still there… deep down. But now that I had Edward, it felt like I had everything I needed. He would never leave me again, and I would never leave him. I would explain that to him the day of our wedding.

My thoughts were interrupted by Alice. "Bella Cullen? Oh no, she's not a Cullen for another week… Speaking of the wedding… I still haven't been able to choose what sort of flowers to get…"

I sighed and went over to her side to claim my package. "I'm Bella." It was then that I noticed that this was the same delivery guy. The guy handed me my package – but it wasn't _exactly _what you would call a _package. _It was a box. A pizza box. Emmett shoved me out of the way and put his package of tampons and a huge bra in the guys arms. "That must have been a mistake. You can take it back to where it came from and shove it up their…"

"EMMETT! LANGUAGE!" came Esme's voice from the other room. Emmett slammed the door in the guys face and walked over to Rosalie. "Come upstairs Rose…" he muttered. Rosalie giggled and they ran over to the stairs and all I could hear was the loud bang of their bedroom door. I walked back over to Edward and opened the box. Yum! Someone had ordered me a pizza. A cheese and pepperoni pizza… that was my favourite pizza! The only person who knew I liked it was…

"Edward? Did you order this?" I asked him. He chuckled. "Was that not what you wanted?" he asked, twirling my hair around his index finger. I blushed. "N no… it's my favourite" I whispered, "thank-you."

"GROSS! YUCK! NO… GET OFF OF ME YOU LITTLE SLIMY…!" screamed Rosalie. The next second she had ran down into the living room followed by Rosalie. "How was I supposed to know there was a jar of snails on the bed with the lid open?" asked Emmett. Rosalie stopped and turned to glare at him. "You could have _warned _me, Emmett!"

"No, honestly, I had no idea they were there!"

Jasper raised an eyebrow. "Wait… an open jar of snails on the bed… EMMETT! Were you and Rosalie having it out in _our _bed?" he gasped. Alice scowled at them under her breath.

"Well, _yeah_! Only 'because Esme put our sheets in the wash!" replied Emmett.

Alice pouted. "Yeah? Well they won't be the only sheets in the wash! EW! That's just so gross! Next time have it out on _Edward's _brand new bed he bought for Bella!"

Edward growled. "_MY _bed?" he asked, growling. "No way Alice! They have their _own _room!"

I was finished with my pizza now. Edward had only ordered a small one. My tummy grumbled again.

"Still hungry?" asked Edward, "There are some lollies around here somewhere…"

He disappeared. In a flash he had reappeared holding a bag of lollies. I eagerly took them and began eating them.

"What time is it?" Alice asked Edward, "The quicker we can get out of here, the better! And who knows? That might not be the first time they were in our bed…" She stopped a funny look on her face. I knew that look. Alice was having a vision.

"What is it?" asked Jasper. Alice smiled. "My vision just helped me decide on the flowers for the wedding! Oh yes… I can really imagine them… they'd look _lovely_!"

Emmett sighed. "Well you can continue your 'lovely' flower visions, but hey, don't mind us. We're only bored out of our shells…"

Alice rolled her eyes and picked up her cell phone again. "Everyone be quiet. I need to make a phone call for those flowers."

"Yes, hello David! Oh really? Yes! I did see it… I can't let it go! It'd look _perfect _on Bella! What? Oh really? Yes, throw those in too! I was actually calling about the wedding flowers!"

I frowned. What was she buying me now? This had better be wedding related.

"…Yes, that's my final decision. Don't you think they'd look lovely against Bella's dress? Yes! Yes, of course! Um… no… not black this time. Save it for Emmett and Rosalie, though. Oh yes, I'm sure they'll let me organise their next wedding too! I know, they just _love _getting married over and over and over… what? No… it doesn't really matter… but hey, add it to the list… blue, yes, Edward loves the colour on her. And the limousine… now that _has _to be black. Really? Yes! Definitely… oh I'm sure she would!"

She had left the room now. I frowned at Edward. "What is she on about?"

Edward chuckled. "Well… you know Alice. If she rings up to buy flowers… she'd probably end up buying five different sorts of flowers, as well as other things that have nothing to do with our wedding."

"Wow, little Edward is so grown up now, and in a week, he'll be a big boy marrying his little Bella!" Emmett grinned.

A week? We were getting married in a week! Well… yes, we are. But that won't be the only thing happening. My change… leaving Charlie… come to think of it, I still had no idea how I was meant to do that…

Edward growled.

**APOV**

"ARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Was that Bella? "Sorry David, I've got to go."

"_I'll add it all to your list, Alice."_

"Great. I'll ring back later."

He groaned. "_This girl never gives up! She's non-stop ring… oh, whoops. Forgot to turn off the phone…"_

Click. I snapped the phone shut. How dare he! I was his best customer! I walked into the living room. "What's Bella screaming about now?" I joked.

Bella was pouting and blushing all in one. "Jasper put _another _snail on her arm" growled Edward. I giggled.

"EMMETT!" Carlisle called. "GET IN HERE, NOW!"

Emmett groaned and walked into Carlisle's office.

"HAVE YOU BEEN LOOKING AT PORN ON MY COMPUTER?" yelled Carlisle.

We all burst out laughing, except for Rosalie, who was scowling.

"What? No!"

"Well I'm putting a lock on this door!" shouted Carlisle.

"As if that would ever stop him" Jasper muttered to me. I smiled at him. An idea sparked in my head.

I felt around in my pocket, looking for the button. I pressed it and the lights went out.

I snuck out the front door, I grinned as I saw Emmett's precious jeep shimmering in the moonlight. I giggled silently. I had to make this quick, before anyone realised that I was missing…

_As I said before, thanks for all the reviews and subscriptions on the first chapter! Please review if you're enjoying the story and I've already got the next chapter written…_

_Bellapouts_


	3. Slimy little rodents

Disclaimer: I do not own twilight 

_Hey guys, it's been great getting all of your reviews! I've had some great ideas for the story and great ideas for others, as well. Keep reviewing!_

**BPOV**

"Edward! Where are you?" I whispered, trying to feel my way across the room. I tripped and fell straight onto the couch.

"Next to you" was his reply.

The lights had gone off again. This was starting to really annoy me.

"This is the third time this has happened tonight" mumbled Rosalie. I had learnt to ignore her when she was in one of her foul moods, which was a bit of a regular thing for her.

"Okay Emmett! As punishment for looking at porn on my computer, you can go and fiddle with the power box outside!" snapped Carlisle.

I heard Emmett groan. "But I didn't!"

Carlisle sighed, a very loud sigh. "Well you were logged in as spunkyEm, so if it wasn't you, I wonder who else spunkyEm could be?" explained Carlisle, a bit of sarcasm in his tone.

Just then, the lights came on again. Emmett sighed and waltzed out of Carlisle's office, a grumpy look on his face. Rosalie giggled, for the first time in ages.

"Well spunkyEm can come upstairs with spunkyRosie!"

Rosalie and Emmett stood up. Rosalie ascended the stairs while Emmett turned to Edward and Jasper and poked out his tongue, a goofy grin on his face. It reminded me of the same wolfy grin I always received from Jacob…

"Emmett!" cried Rosalie.

Emmett turned and followed her up the stairs.

"Where's Alice?" I whispered to Edward, who immediately burst out laughing, as did Jasper. I frowned. Why was it that everyone always knew what was was going on – except me?

"Don't worry Bella! You'll find out! Jasper, Alice and I are in on it" he smirked.

I frowned again. "In on what?" Was this something to embarrass me? I already had Emmett poking fun of me; I didn't need them to add to the list.

"Just sit back and act normal!" hissed a voice. I turned to see Alice standing in the doorway. She silently shut the door behind us and walked over to us, a grin on her face. "Faze one complete!" she giggled.

"Faze one?" questioned Jasper, "How many fazes _are _there?"

Alice grinned. "A few." She picked up her cell phone and began dialling.

"Hello David! Yes, it's Alice! Yes, yes, yes, yes, oh really? Yes! They can all be delivered tomorrow morning! Oh because I'm kind of in the middle of something… oh what? No! I've got plenty of outfits I haven't worn yet. Though in the catalogue, item 983 I really need it! Well, a friend of mine does… could you have it delivered now? Ha-ha, yes! That's all. Oh, and item 665 to match that gorgeous top I bought before! Oh I'm positive! Bella _will _love it! Oh yes, no… but, yes! Yes, thank-you!"

She snapped the phone shut, grinning.

"What was all that about? And what will I 'love'?" I asked.

Alice grinned. "You'll see, Bella. Don't ruin the fun!" she giggled. I felt myself giggling too, and I couldn't stop giggling. "HA!" I laughed. I was rolling around on the floor clutching my sides and giggling as hard as I could.

"Uh… Bella? Are you okay?" asked Edward.

"You really shouldn't have given her those types of lollies before, Edward. After all, she is a human! The sugars kicked in!" grinned Alice. "But she didn't gobble the whole bag… so she should be okay!"

I looked up at Edward, smiling. "S sorry… HA HA… about that… Edward" I said, trying not to laugh. "Couldn't… HA! … Help myself!"

Jasper was smirking. "Oh Bella, at least we know never to give you sugar again!"

**JPOV**

I left Bella's giggling form and snuck upstairs. Rosalie and Emmett were in our room again, on our bed, on our sheets. I shuddered. Alice was right. We were going to need to buy new sheets now after they were finished. I grinned as I noticed that they had chucked the jar of snails out into the hallway. It was time for payback. I knew how much Rosalie hated snails, and she would yell at Emmett if she encountered them in bed, because he was the closest person for her to harass. Poor Emmett.

I snuck into their room, to the bed with no sheets and tipped the snails out of the jar and onto the bed. They were spread across the pillow and every other inch of the bed. Emmett and Rosalie wouldn't bother turning the lights on, so they'd hop straight onto the bed. I grinned as I walked out of the room and into our room.

"EMMETT! ROSALIE! GET OFF OF OUR BED! YUCK!" I yelled, as loud as I possibly could. They jumped and looked over at me. "GET INTO YOUR OWN ROOM! Err… yuck! Just… gross!"

They stood up, Rosalie scowling, and walked out and into their room. I descended the stairs. If they screamed loud enough, maybe the whole house would fall down and they would get the blame…

Sure enough, as I walked into Alice's arms I heard Rosalie screaming.

"…SLIMY LITTLE RODENTS! GET OFF OF ME! GET OUT OF THERE!"

Alice, Edward and Bella burst out laughing. I was grinning as Rosalie descended the stairs, followed by Emmett, and began scowling and pouting. "I warned you about it before, Emmett. Don't you get it? I don't like snails!" she snarled.

Emmett sighed. "Everyone always blames me. Look, they were on _their _bed! I wouldn't be surprised if they were intended for us…"

Rosalie turned to face Alice and I, scowling.

"Hey Rose, don't blame us for laughing! You laughed at Bella when Jasper put snails on her arm!" piped up Alice. I wrapped my arm around her.

"Emmett, come on, let's get in the jeep. I pulled the BMW apart to put new parts on it" scowled Rosalie.

"You'll lose your cars! And your credit cards!" I laughed.

"Oh well Rosalie, if you can't afford it I guess I'll have to take Bella shopping a lot more often! That'd be fun! Right, Bella?" said Alice. I grinned. I knew what she was doing, trying to annoy Rosalie.

"Yeah! It'd be so much fun!" I said, sounding keen. Usually, the idea of shopping with Alice would not be my idea of fun, but in this case, it was different. We were annoying Rosalie to get back at her for her… what was the word Edward used? Pigheadedness.

"I don't _care_!" shrieked Rosalie, "I'll get them back, and just you wait! Emmett! Where are the keys to the jeep?"

They exited through the front door. Edward opened it so we could see everything that was happening outside. This was going to be good. I suppressed the urge to burst out laughing.

**EPOV**

In my whole entire life, I have never heard Emmett scream a lot. That was, until tonight took place. I guess it wasn't entirely a _normal _scream, but still…

"MY JEEP! MY PRECIOUS JEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!" screamed Emmett. We all went outside to see what the commotion was. Someone had gotten pink paint and written random graffiti over the bonnet.

'Bella sucks ass'

'Alice wuz here'

'You dirty porn-lover'

'Jazz whipped ya'

'Eddie enjoys it'

'Rosie's scared of snails? HAHA!'

I grinned. Only someone with a very devious mind could have cooked up this scheme -Alice. And under the graffiti, was a big pink smiley face. For someone so small, Alice could be very devious.

"Emmett, don't sweat it!" I said, sounding casual. "It's nothing you can't paint over the top of!"

Emmett growled under his breath, just as a very familiar white van pulled up in the driveway. A very irritated-looking guy hopped out, holding three packages. It was the same guy from our last two package deliveries! He walked over to us and stopped when he saw the jeep.

He hid his snicker with a cough and muttered something under his breath that sounded very like 'nice car weirdo.'

Of course, the Cullen's had their vampire hearing, so the move did not go unnoticed. Emmett growled.

_Whoa! Did that weirdo just growl? Why oh why do I put up with this job?_

The door swung open and Carlisle stepped out, looking extremely irritated. "EMMETT! GET IN HERE! NOW! WHEN THE POWER JUST CAME BACK ON I SAW SOMETHING VERY DISTURBING ON THE COMPUTER! YOU _HAVE _BEEN LOOKING AT PORN ON _MY _COMPUTER AND DON'T DENY IT!"

I grinned. The delivery guy raised an eyebrow. _Whoa! What a bunch of weirdos! Is anyone going to take these parcels so I can get out of here? _

Bella smiled at him, and walked over to the delivery guy. As she walked past I inhaled her scent and smiled to myself.

"Who are the packages for?" she asked, trying to sound polite.

_Finally! Someone who's not a head case!_

I frowned. That delivery guy was the weirdo!

"Emmett Lucy Cullen…"

"MY MIDDLE NAME IS _NOT _LUCY!"

"Edward's girlfriend…"

"It's Bella" smiled Bella.

_She's really pretty!_

"…and Rosaline."

"Rosalie!" snarled Rosalie.

Emmett, Bella and Rosalie took their packages. Bella's was the biggest. A huge box. She could barely lift it off of the ground.

"So thank you for the packages… um…" started Bella.

"Nick. Nick Newton."

I grinned. Mike Newton's brother. Bella could have some fun with him. I winked at her. She seemed to know what to do.

"I'm Bella, Bella Swan," smiled Bella, fluttering her eyelashes at him. I gave her the thumbs up behind Nick's back. Mike would be so cranky when he found out that Bella and Nick were… making progress, when Bella always tried to ignore him. Nick was only a year older. Mike would hate competition. The thoughts about her that went through his head about her were very gross.

Nick didn't say anything, he seemed dazed by her. "Yes… yes you are. Um… so are you… free tomorrow night?" he asked. I chuckled silently. Both the Newtons were clueless when it came to girls.

"Yeah, no one's asked me out anywhere," she whispered, still fluttering her eyelashes. Nick blushed.

"Well… um… I was wondering if… if maybe you wanted to go somewhere tomorrow night? I know we only… just met but…"

Bella grinned. She was grinning because Nick was falling for it. "Sure!"

_What was that about the caller calling her 'Edward's girlfriend'? Must have been some mistake. She wouldn't cheat on her boyfriend. Maybe I have a chance with her after all…_

"I'll pick you up at seven tomorrow night."

Bella smiled again. "Great! I'll see you then!"

_That new French restaurant in Port Angeles is good, from what I hear. Maybe it'll impress her if I take her over there…_

"Right well… um… I've got to go" he said, still blushing. He turned and hopped into his van, waving at Bella, who smiled at him and tossed her hair over her shoulder. The van sped off down the road and out of sight.

We all burst out laughing. "This is going to be great!" Alice giggled, "Of _course _we'll be there!" She stopped and looked out at nothing. "Oh yes! This is fantastic! He's taking you to Esme's restaurant!"

Bella frowned. "_Esme's _restaurant?"

"Esme bought a restaurant! Didn't I tell you that?" I said, kissing her softly on the lips.

"Don't get jealous, Edward. He's nothing compared to you…" whispered Bella. I kissed her again, waiting for her to blush. When it came I gave her the smile I knew she loved.

"I think it's time for a few Cullen waiters, don't you, Edward?" grinned Emmett. I nodded and laughed.

"We'll teach Newton a lesson… Mike's already had _his _share," I laughed.

"It's time for operation Nick Newton."


	4. Care to elaborate?

_Disclaimer: Horrible people such as me don't own great books such as twilight…_

_Chapter four is here! _

**BPOV**

"Well we have a day to prepare!" grinned Alice.

"Yes, but we're confined to this house until 6PM tomorrow night" scowled Rosalie.

"Aw, don't be like that, Rose! We want you to be a part of this! Come on, it'll be fun!" I urged.

Rosalie sighed.

"Okay, okay! I give in" she grinned, "But you're right! This could be _very _fun if we think it through."

We went back into the house where Carlisle was laughing. "Good job on the jeep, whoever did that! You've helped me punish Emmett for looking at porn on my computer!" he laughed.

Alice winked at him, with her back to Emmett and Rosalie. Carlisle nodded to her and went back into his office. I felt Edward's arms around me. "What time is it?" I mumbled. I was fighting back sleep and he knew it.

"Ten minutes till midnight. I'm taking you upstairs. You need your rest."

I pulled away from him. I hated having to sleep all the time. There was only one thing I could do to avoid sleep.

"Hey Alice, I love that nail polish on you!"

Alice beamed. "Thanks! It'd look great on you too, for your big 'date' with Nick Newton!"

I laughed. What was I doing?

"Do you really think so?" I asked.

She nodded. "I'll do your nails right now if you… want."

I nodded, trying to look enthusiastic.

Alice beamed.

"No, Alice! She needs her rest! She's just trying to get out of it!" argued Edward.

Alice raised an eyebrow at me. "Is that why you're so keen to get your nails done? To avoid sleep?" she asked me. Uh oh…

I sighed. "Okay, I give in! I give in! I'm sick of having to sleep when everyone else is wandering around having all the fun! That's something I am definitely _not _going to miss when I am changed!"

Edward sighed. "Okay Bella, you can stay up." Then he went over and sat down at the piano. Alice was staring out into space again, most likely having a vision. She grinned maliciously at me. "Come sit on the lounge!" she urged.

So I found myself sprawled across the lounge. Music filled my ears as Edward being playing. Oh no! I recognised the music! It was My Lullaby! No, I had to fight the sleep! I wasn't falling for this! Maybe… if I were to just rest my eyes for a second…

**EMPOV**

I walked into the loungeroom to see Bella lying on the lounge, deeply asleep. Edward was sitting on the floor, grinning at me.

"I finally got her to sleep" he laughed.

Bella rolled over on the lounge. "Oh Edward" she murmured. I snorted with laughter. "Is she dreaming about…?" I asked. Edward frowned.

"No… you need to take those off too!" she murmured again. I grinned over at Edward, who was hanging on her every word.

"Jasper is gay? Oh no… whose going to be Alice's…"

I laughed again. This was entertaining.

Jasper entered the room frowning. "Bella, I am _NOT _gay!"

Bella screamed. "EDWARD! EDWARD, HELP!" she was screaming.

"NO, EDWARD! NO! PLEASE DON'T!" she screamed. I frowned.

"EMMETT! GET HIM AWAY! ARRRGGGHHH!"

She was sweating now. She screamed again and sat up. I noticed that everyone was in the room, watching her intently. "I had… the strangest Dream."

I laughed. "Care to elaborate?"

She frowned. "Um… no…"

"Aw, come on! We heard most of it…" I muttered the last bit, but she still heard. Bella groaned.

"Oh great! I was talking again! Wasn't I?" she asked frowning.

**BPOV – HER DREAM  
**I was lying across Edward's bed, smiling as he approached me, shirtless. I was dazed. What a sight!

"Oh Edward…" I whispered. "You need to take those off too," I pointed at his pants. He chuckled. "I just found out some rather interesting news. Jasper is gay!"

I gasped.

"Jasper is gay? Oh no… whose going to be Alice's mate, now?" I asked. He shrugged, as he lay down on the bed next to me. He bent down to kiss my neck. I giggled. He kissed me again… but it wasn't a kiss, it was a bite. He was sucking my blood!

"EDWARD! EDWARD, HELP!" I screamed.

"NO, EDWARD! NO! PLEASE! DON'T!"

"EMMETT! GET HIM AWAY! ARRRGGGHHH!"

"Calm down Bella. You're one of us now. Are you hungry? Charlie's downstairs. Or we could visit Jacob…"

I looked up into his blood red eyes, crying. He had changed me. I saw blood drip from his mouth and onto the pillow. I screamed and opened my eyes. Thank god! It had been a dream! As if Edward would ever make me eat Charlie!

All of the Cullen's were standing around me. I groaned. Had I talked in my sleep?

***

Edward hugged me. "I'm sorry you dreamt that, Bella…"

I had just finished explaining my dream. Jasper was frowning.

"Why do you keep dreaming about me being gay?" he asked, angrily. Alice giggled and kissed him.

"I don't think you're gay…" she whispered, giggling.

"What time is it?" I asked Edward, as he pulled away from me.

"Eight AM."

Oh no! I had slept in! I had been hoping to wake up earlier. A _lot _earlier.

"We've got everything set for tonight" grinned Alice. My cell phone vibrated in my pocket. I picked up.

"Hello?" I asked.

"Bella?"

Oh no. It was Mike Newton! I put it on loud speaker.

"Hey Mike!"

"_Hi Bella! I was just wondering if you were doing anything tonight?"_

"Sorry Mike. I've got a hot date with this guy, Nick. I think his last name starts with an N. I don't know. I forget."

"_Nick Newton?"_

"Yeah! That's him! Hey, is he your big brother?"

"_Um… yeah. Weren't you going out with Cullen?"_

"He's away hiking. I don't need to worry about him. Besides, Nick is _hot!"_

"_Oh… okay then… well, bye."_

He hung up. I laughed. Mike was probably very jealous.

Edward chuckled. "You are a very convincing liar, Bella Swan."

I smiled. "You know what I said on the phone wasn't true, right? I was just trying to make myself sound um… tarty?"

Emmett snorted with laughter. "You're supposed to be getting married next Saturday! Yet you're 'cheating' on Edward while he's away 'hiking' to go on a 'hot date' with Nick Newton?" he snorted, "Oh come _on _Bella! You should be ashamed! When Edward gets back I'm dobbing on you!"

I giggled. "Dibber-dobbers where nappies!" **(A/n: Does anyone say that anymore?) **

"Emmett's jumbo backside would be too big for a nappy," teased Jasper.

The door to Carlisle's office opened and Carlisle strode out. "Sorry guys, I know it's family time but there's an emergency down at the Hospital. Mrs Nesbitt is having her baby – early. I'll be back in a flash and remember what I said about cars and credit cards!"

He strode out the door and we heard his car driving off into the distance. "Where's Esme?" I asked.

"Um… I don't know. Uh… Emmett, what are you doing?" said Jasper. Emmett was sneaking into Carlisle's office.

"I need to check my emails."

Alice snorted. "Who would email _you_, Emmett?" she laughed. Jasper picked her up in his arms, laughing at her little joke. He ran up the stairs holding her.

"I'm hungry" I whispered to Edward. And indeed I was. My stomach was grouchy this morning, begging for food, pleading.

Emmett sat bolt upright. "I'll handle that!" he said, racing off to the kitchen.

"DAMN SNAILS" yelled Jasper from upstairs. I giggled. He had forgotten to get the snails off of the bed!

Emmett was back now, holding out a glass of water. Some breakfast… I took the glass and skulled it. Edward raised an eyebrow at me. I pouted.

"What now…" I whispered.

I felt my eyelids close. In a flash I was out light a light…

I was sitting naked on Edward's lap. Ugh… I was dreaming about myself being naked? That's just gross! The door burst open and Jasper and Mike Newton rolled onto the floor passionately kissing each other. I spewed all over myself, and all over Edward. Emmett ran into the room wearing a Fireman uniform and carrying a hose. He aimed it at my naked body and the spurt of water got me right in the face. Then he turned to Jasper and Mike, who were now unzipping their pants, and spurted water down Mike and Jasper's open pants. Rosalie ran into the room wearing… oh my god! She was wearing nothing! Snails covered her entire body, except for her eyes and mouth. I screamed. Rosalie frowned.

"What's wrong Bella? I'll _really _be a corpse now, just as soon as the snails finish off my flesh and blood. This is so exciting!"

"Wake up Bella!" I screamed to myself. Emmett had now walked over to Jasper and Mike and was beginning to unzip his own pants…

I sat up screaming. I was awake. I could feel the sweat coming off of my body. The dream was over.

"Care to elaborate?" asked Emmett. I sat up off of the floor and explained my dream.

"Bella you shouldn't be dreaming about us being gay, or Rosalie being eaten alive by snails, or vomiting on yourself, or sitting on Edward's lap naked!" Emmett said, laughing. I pouted.

"So what did _you _put in my water? I fell asleep the moment I had it down!" I cursed.

Emmett's eyes strayed. "Emmett! If you don't tell me I'll…"

Emmett sighed and looked me in the eyes. "It was just a joke! Honestly! I put some sleeping tablets into your drink…"

"YOU WHAT?" shrieked Rosalie, smacking him. "WELL THEN FIREMAN EMMETT, I BLAME _YOU _FOR BELLA'S DREAM! IF YOU HADN'T GIVEN HER SLEEPING TABLETS, SHE WOULDN'T HAVE DREAMT IT!"

The door opened and Carlisle strode in. Emmett was saved. "That woman, honestly. She wasn't having her baby; it was just a strong contraption. She's the second biggest hypochondriac I know!"

I raised an eyebrow. "Second biggest hypochondriac?"

He nodded. "Emmett is the first."

Emmett growled. "Hey!"

Carlisle ignored him and walked into his office.

"Oh no! I forgot to turn it off…" whispered Emmett.

"EMMETT! GET IN HERE NOW!"

"Uh oh…" muttered Emmett, walking into the office.

"WHY IS THERE PORN ON MY COMPUTER SCREEN? DO YOU THINK I WANT TO COME HOME AFTER DEALING WITH WOMAN WHO _THINK _THEIR BABY IS ON THE WAY AND LOOK AT _THAT _ON MY COMPUTER SCREEN?"

"Sorry about that…" whispered Emmett.

"Get your own computer!" snarled Carlisle.

"What time is it, Edward?" I asked him. Uh oh… he was dazzling me again. I looked away, blushing as he kissed me gently on the lips and whispered, "twelve O'clock PM."

_Don't worry! The next chapter is on the way! It seems this fic is going really well! Thanks for all your support!_

_bellapouts_


	5. Everyone likes to feel fresh

_Wow! The review numbers have gone up – by a lot! I'm really happy with ELP's progress and the number of fans it currently has! So thanks to all of __you __for making my day!_

**Disclaimer: It saddens me to say, that I do not own twilight.**

**BPOV**

So it was twelve PM. Emmett waltzed out of Carlisle's office and lay on the floor. I suddenly jumped up.

"Remember those packages Nick gave us before he asked me out?" I asked Edward.

"Yes, they're over there near the door," he replied, "I'll get yours."

He walked over to the door. He put Emmett's package on the ground next to where he was lying and handed the other to Rosalie. Then he picked up my big box package and placed it in front of me.

"I'll go first, shall I?" piped up Rosalie. She quickly took the brown paper off of it and looked at the small box curiously. She opened the box and screamed. She threw it into the air and I watched as it was tipped upside down in mid air and began showering snails over her, which only made her scream more.

"Come on Rose! Big scary vampires like you shouldn't be afraid of snails!" laughed Alice. Rosalie threw the box at her, but it missed and knocked Esme's lamp off of the table.

"I'm going for a shower…" she muttered, before running up the stairs. I turned to Edward.

"Vampires shower?"

He chuckled softly. "Of _course _we do, Bella! Everyone likes to feel… oh, how would _you _put it? Fresh! Yes, that's it. Everyone likes to feel _fresh, _right?" he spoke, "And besides, the water is very warm."

I smiled at him and looked over at Emmett, who was now pulling the brown paper off of his package. He held up a DVD. The cover of which had a young lady wearing very skimpy lingerie.

Jasper, Alice, Edward and I were laughing our heads off. Emmett had been sent a porn DVD! Then I stopped laughing. If Rosalie had been sent snails, which she hated, Emmett had been sent a porn DVD… I could only imagine what horrible thing _I _had been given. But then I remembered. _Alice _had bought those packages! I had seen her make the phone call!

I smiled to myself as I pulled the brown paper off of the huge box. I opened the flaps. The box was full. On very top was… a set of car keys. Edward chuckled at me.

"Um… thanks, Edward" I said.

He frowned. "What, aren't you going to have a fit? I spent money on you! Doesn't that _bother _you?" he teased.

I sighed. "As one of your agreements for you to change me straight after the wedding, I had to let you buy things for me. Of course, _you _would buy me a car… so um… thanks?"

He chuckled. "Check out the things _Alice _got you, then we'll go outside and check out the car, okay?"

I picked up a pile of about five bras. I groaned and frowned at Alice, who was unsurprisingly giggling. I looked up at Edward who was smiling my favourite uneven smile. I put the bras on the floor and found myself looking at a _gorgeous _yellow sweater. Under that I found some beautiful tops, a pair of leather brown boots, a beautiful blue satin nightie and… a cell phone! That was good, since my last one had been on the windowsill in the bathroom and fallen into the toilet. Of course, it was now worthless.

"Thanks Alice!" I grinned. Edward hopped up and ran over to the door. "Come on Bella! Time to check out your new ride!"

I followed him outside and gasped at what I saw. It was a blue Saleen S7 Twin Turbo. I was shocked. The thing would have cost him a fortune! Oh my god, I could not believe I was touching one of these things. I didn't know much about cars, but this one topped my list!

Edward was grinning. "So… do you like it?"

I beamed at him. "I love it! I hope you didn't spend too much on it!"

He chuckled. "Don't worry about that, Bella. Hmm… Nick _will _be impressed tonight!" he chuckled. I frowned.

"Hang on… isn't he driving me?" I asked.

Edward stopped. "Yeah… but surely you can convince him to ride in this baby?"

I laughed. He pulled me into a hug and kissed my hair. "I love you Edward" I whispered softly. "I love you too Isabella Marie Swan" he whispered in reply. I pulled back.

"Edward? Are you sure you want me for all eternity?" I asked.

He chuckled softly and looked me in the eyes. "I'm positive, Isabella Marie Swan, and you?"

I smiled. "Of course I'm sure! I love you so much" I muttered.

"No, I love you more."

He pulled me into a passionate kiss and he held me in his arms humming into my hair. "Don't you ever think to yourself that I don't want you, Bella. I want to hold you in my arms everyday for the rest of our lives."

"For eternity" I whispered. He smiled and kissed me again, just as Alice came stomping out of the house.

"Bella! We need to figure out what you're wearing tonight!" she hissed, "We need to make you look your best for Nick!"

I groaned. "I don't want two Newtons crushing on me!"

Edward and Alice laughed. "_That's _the whole point!" giggled Alice. I frowned.

"Okay fine then, keep me in the dark about this whole thing!"

Alice sighed. "Just… flirt a lot with him, Bella! We don't want our fun ruined because of you!" she joked.

She marched me inside and up to Edward's room. "Okay! We have three choices for tonight. I'll lay them out on the bed and you tell me if you like them" Alice said as she laid three dresses onto his bed. One was a short black dress with shoestring straps, one was a longer red dress and… a beautiful blue dress. I knew at once it was the one I wanted.

"The blue one!" I told Alice. She grinned. "That's what I thought. Okay, go try it on in the bathroom!" Edward had a door in his room that led to a bathroom. I went inside and closed the door.

**EMPOV  
**"Where is everyone?" I asked Jasper. He shrugged.

"Alice is helping Bella find what she's going to wear tonight on her 'hot date' with Nick Newton" Jasper laughed, "when we're through with Newton he's going to be so…"

CRASH!

"What was that?" I asked Jasper. He shrugged. "Don't ask me! Have you seen Bella's new car? It's awesome! It makes me wonder why you have a lame jeep!" he teased. I raised my eyebrow.

"Never, and I mean _never _insult the jeep!"

"Yeah? Well what are _you _going to do about it?" he was really pulling my strings now. I smiled.

"Alice would be sooooo sad if anything ever happened to her wardrobe" I mused.

Jasper gasped. "You wouldn't dare!"

I laughed. They thought I didn't know who had graffitied my jeep, but I knew, Alice.

"After what your devious wife did to my jeep, I'm willing to do anything. ARM WRESTLE!"

**BPOV**

I emerged from the bathroom wearing the beautiful blue dress to see Alice standing near the bed, waiting. She gasped when she saw me. "Bella, you look beautiful! You'll totally dazzle Newton!" she grinned. The door opened and Edward peered in, he too, gasped when he saw me. "Bella! You… you look stunning!"

I felt myself blush and he chuckled. Alice was glaring at him. "Out!" she ordered. Edward raised his hands in defeat and closed the door. She turned back to me, grinning. "Okay! Now it's time to accessorise!" she giggled.

I groaned as she held up two blue handbags. One was leather and one was fur. "The fur one" I told her.

Alice grinned. "Right! Now, shoes! I was thinking you could wear those boots I bought you!"

I groaned. I had wanted to save those for Edward, but… oh, what did it matter?

"Remind me Alice, why can't I go wearing my trackpants and a T-shirt? Why do I have to look 'good' and be… colour co-ordinated?"

She sighed and rolled her eyes. "Because, the idea is to make Newton _really _like you! All you need to do is sit back and watch while we do most of the work. But remember that flirting you were using on him earlier! You were dazzling him! We're going to make him… suffer! Just play along with the prank, Bella!"

She thrust the boots into my arms and placed a gold locket around my neck and a diamond bracelet around my wrist.

"What's all this?" I snapped. Alice grinned.

"You'll see, Bella. Just you wait! This is going to be fantastic!" she giggled. "But we're going to play with the boys before your big date!"

**EDPOV**

It seemed as if Bella and Alice had been up there for weeks, Alice wouldn't even let me in my own room! If this was today, I could only imagine how bad she would be next week when Bella and I were to be married.

"ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

I sat bolt upright, motioning for Jasper and Emmett to stop armwrestling and be quiet. I recognised Bella's scream.

"STAY STILL BELLA! THE QUICKER I DO IT… OH NO YOU DON'T!" yelled Alice from above.

That was it. I was going to investigate. No one yelled at Bella like that! I ascended the stairs and stopped outside of my bedroom.

"Don't worry Bella, it'll only hurt a bit! Stay still! Stop squirming! I need to bite you before Edward comes up…"

BITE her?

"Alice?"

"See, Bella? Yes I know it stings. It'll be okay."

I heard Bella moaning in pain. "Edward…" she was moaning, I could tell from the way she spoke that she was on the verge of tears, had Alice bitten her.

"ALICE?"

"Hush, Bella! Or he'll suck the venom out!" I heard her whisper, "Edward?"

"I'm coming in there!" I announced.

"NO!" she yelled.

I knocked down the door and walked in. Bella was lying on the bed screaming in pain. "Bella?"

She didn't even look up to me, she was holding her hand on her neck. "IT STINGS!" she was yelling.

I bent down and gently lifted her hand off of her neck to see bite marks. I growled and leaped at Alice, pinning her to the ground. "YOU BIT HER?" I growled.

Alice burst out laughing. I growled. "YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY?"

I heard footsteps and I turned to see Bella, who was surprisingly laughing. "It was just a prank, Edward. It was all _her _idea. She said she wouldn't give me a manicure if I helped her put on a good show. Sorry Edward. Are you… mad at me?"

I sighed. How could I ever be angry with someone as beautiful and angel-like as Bella. "No Bella, how could I ever be angry with you? But how do you explain the bite marks in your neck?" I asked.

"Make-up."

"Oh."

She came closer to me and I brushed the make-up off of her neck and gently kissed her lips in the process. "What time is it?" she asked. "Well…" I sighed, "it's ten minutes till six PM!"

She squealed in delight. Alice had curled her hair, she looked magnificent. I extended my arm and we walked down the stairs. We sat on the floor with everyone else, when the doorbell rang we had to hide, so that Nick wouldn't see us. It had been dark last night, he wouldn't have seen us properly.

The lights went off. "Power failure!" Alice said happily.

"Again?" I asked. The doobell rang and the lights flicked on again. Everyone hid while Bella went to open the door.


	6. Gawking

"Hello Mick!" I greeted, as I saw his gangly figure in the doorway. How ugly he was in the light. He reminded me of Eric Yorkie!

"It's Nick, and hey!" he said, grinning. He wasn't wearing much, jeans and a scraggy looking black shirt.

I put on a fake grin. "Well, are you ready to go?" I asked him. He nodded. I walked out and heard him gasp at my appearance.

"You look… you look…" he was muttering, completely and utterly dazed. I closed the door and batted my eyelashes at him.

"My car is over there" I told him. He followed my gaze and gasped at my new blue baby.

"That's _your_ car?" he gasped.

"Daddy bought it for me" I said. Ah, so I was one of those girls who relied on their father for everything?

We walked over to my car and I hopped into the driver's side, grinning at him. I put my keys in the ignition and looked at the big red 'B' dangling from the end of them. The car roared into action and I sped off into the distance. I looked up in my revision mirror to see the Cullen's getting into the Volvo.

"So, where are we going?" I asked him. He was gawking at me and the car, wondering which was better.

"That new restaurant in…" he began, but I cut him off.

"Oh yes, I know the one. My mother owns it" I told him. He gulped and I laughed at his expression.

"Don't worry! She's not there tonight. She's gone on holiday to France. She really loves the place, and I do too. But I prefer Italy. It's really nice there. The shops are brilliant!" I lied. This guy was crazy! He believed every single word that came out of my mouth. We sped down the highway.

"So where's your father? Is he off holidaying with your mother?" he asked. I frowned at him.

"Well she's not exactly holidaying. We bought a mansion like the one we have in Forks, since we love France so much. So every time we go there we have a place to stay" I was really pushing it now, "she'll be away for a month. Anyway, daddy's gone to Hawaii for his best mate's wedding. I'm staying with my aunt and cousins. They're down here in Forks. They've come all the way from California."

California. I couldn't really imagine the Cullen's _there_. It was just the first thing that came to mind. They'd wouldn't be able to walk out to check their mail without someone wondering why they were glittering so much. Actually, any person would be amazed to have the opportunity to see the Cullen's in the sun. They'd think they were mad. I chuckled silently, thinking of Nick's expression if he saw them glittering in the sunlight. We were getting closer and closer to the restaurant now. I felt the five one thousand dollar bills in my pocket that Alice had given me. That would certainly stun Nick.

"So have you ever been outside of Washington before?" I asked him, trying to make conversation.

"Um… no. I'm usually in Forks. I'm a mechanic, actually. This is why I didn't go to College. But of course, Mike is going there next year."

I raised my eyebrows in amazement.

"You've never been out of Forks? Really? Well I've been all over the world! France, Italy, England, Australia, Ireland, America… yep, you name it, I've been there. I went to China last summer! They have some amazing gardens there! And before that, I went to Fiji! It was great there, too."

I was lying through my teeth. But I had been trained well. Little Alice, my devious ninja master. I chuckled silently to myself. Now I was imagining Alice as a ninja? That would be pretty funny, actually…

We pulled up outside the restaurant. We both hopped out of the car and entered the restaurant. A familiar looking waitress met us. I tried not to burst out laughing. It was Rosalie.

"Hello Isabella!" she greeted me, "Is your mother well? Enjoying France?"

So the Cullen's knew of the conversation Nick and I had had in the car.

"Yes! She's quite well! She sends her greetings." I poked my tongue out at Rosalie, behind Nick's back. Alice had told me that I was to poke my tongue out if I thought things were going well. Rosalie led us to a table for two and sat us down; I could see that she was trying desperately to suppress an outbreak of laughter.

Rosalie placed two menus on the table.

"Someone will be with you shortly to take your orders. In the meantime would you care for some drinks?" asked Rosalie.

"Surprise me!" I told her. Rosalie nodded and looked over at Nick.

"Surprise me, too!" he grinned. Oh, if only he knew… Rosalie turned and disappeared. It was then that I noticed… oh my gosh! Was that Emmett? Striding our way, followed by Mike Newton and Jessica was definitely Emmett! I hope we wasn't supposed to be a waitress or anything. Now that, would be plain… well, it'd be weird. Mike grinned at me as he walked past; Jessica shot me a WTF-are-you-cheating-on-Edward-look. "I'll explain later" I mouthed, so that only she saw.

Emmett sat them at a table diagonal from us. I knew exactly what Mike was up to. He had known that Nick intended to bring me here tonight, and he had decided to bring Jessica, to try and make me jealous. As if I would be jealous of Jessica! I didn't even _like _Mike. When would he get the picture?

Emmett walked over to us, smiling. "Hello! My name is Emmett and I am a waiter here!" he chirped happily, "What would you guys like to order?"

I saw Nick eyeing Emmett's muscles.

"I'll have the steak" said Nick, pointing it out to Emmett, who scribbled it down on his _hot pink _notebook. Emmett turned to me.

"And for the beautiful lady, who I must say, looks dazzling." Emmett was flirting! How extremely weird. I felt myself blush; I was so used to it that it came whenever I wanted it to come. Emmett bent down and held my hand in his. He kissed it gently. Had Edward given him tips? I let out a fake giggle.

"I'm Emmett" he said again, holding out his hand.

"Bella," I told him and shook his outstretched hand. Of course, we had already met before.

"Is it just me or is it getting hot in here?" asked Emmett, pretending to fan himself with his pink notebook.

I nodded. "You're right! It is pretty hot in here, isn't it?"

_Hem hem_. Nick, of course, did not like any minute of Emmett's flirting. Mike had the same look on his face as Nick, angry that Emmett was flirting. Jessica was looking outraged that he was not flirting with _her_. Of course, Mike and Jessica recognised Emmett, so they also thought it quite strange.

"I'll take…" I began, but Emmett hushed me. He placed a finger on my lips.

"Hush. I'll make sure you get what you want" he flirted. He scribbled something on his pink notebook and ripped the page out. He handed it to me.

"That's my number" he explained, before turning and walking away. I looked at the piece of paper, knowing that it was _not _Emmett's number.

_Bella,_

_Nice work! Things are running smoothly. I hope you liked my trendy notebook!_

_Emmett._

_PS: Your favourite colour is red._

I smiled at the note and put it in my purse. Nick was scowling.

"Honestly" he muttered, mainly to himself, "that waiter was all over you…"

"So!" I said, ignoring him completely, "what do your parents do for a living?"

He stopped scowling. "My dad owns the sport shop and my mum and Mike help out."

I wrinkled my nose in distaste. "A _sport shop_?" I asked, snorting.

He nodded. Just then, I noticed Jasper walking past. He backed up and stood still, open mouthed, gawking at me. This lasted for about ten minutes. The expression on his face was making me want to burst out laughing. Nick growled.

"HAVE YOU GOT A PROBLEM, BUDDY?" he asked. Jasper had obviously used his emotions to make Nick angry. Jasper ignored him and moved closer to me.

"Hello" he purred. I distinctively thought I heard Nick mutter, "Not again…"

I forced myself into blushing and giggled. "Hello."

He still had the same expression on his face, just gawking at me. Nick snarled under his breath.

"What's your favourite colour?" Jasper asked me. I remembered Emmett's note.

"Red" I told him, smiling.

"I'll be right back!" he promised. He turned and ran out of sight. I heard Nick scowl as he returned, holding a red rose. He placed it behind my right ear and began gawking again.

"Thank you" I giggled, "I love red roses."

"Really?" he asked, still gawking.

"My name is Jasper. I am a waiter here. Your beauty intrigues me." Had he been reading a little too much Shakespeare?

I forced myself to blush even harder. "My name is Bella."

"Alas, beautiful Bella, your beauty stands out amongst the rest, who are merely ugly and disgusting. You however, are a beauty, in a world full of vermin."

I forced myself to blush even deeper still.

"Alas" mumbled Nick. I ignored him.

"May I ask, Jasper, when we shall be receiving our meals?" I asked him. He grinned.

"I'll be right back!" he promised. He turned and ran out of sight. He returned holding a plate, with a chocolate soufflé perched on top. It was dusted with sugar and looked very appetising.

"Thank you, Jasper. This soufflé looks very appetising." I moved over to allow him to sit down. I hungrily began to gobble the soufflé, which reminded me of the chocolate soufflé I used to make quite often back in Phoenix. Jasper watched me eat, still gawking at my appearance.

"Where's _my _food?" demanded Nick. Jasper ignored him, still gawking at me.

"HELLO! STOP GAWKING AT HER AND GET ME SOME FOOD!" he shouted. Jasper frowned at him.

"Please lower your voice, sir, or I will have to remove you from the restaurant" he said to Nick. Jasper pulled a purple notebook out of his pocket and scribbled something on it with his pen, then he ripped out the page and handed it to me.

"Call me" he purred, before leaving the table. I glanced down at the note.

_After all these years, my flirting still has no affect on girls. But Nick, however… HA HA HA! Not much longer now! Jessica and Mike can't be here when it happens or they will ruin everything. Good luck!  
Jasper._

I folded it up and put it into my bag, on top of Emmett's previous note, wondering what devious scheme they had concocted to toy with Nick Newton even _more_.

x.x

_Okay, this chapter seemed to take FOREVER to write. I'm really happy with the number of reviews this story has received so far and can only hope for more. Rate and review! As always, I'm interested to know what YOU, the reader, think of my story._

_Bellapouts _


	7. Marry me!

I glanced over at Jessica and Mike. Jessica was attempting to try and kiss Mike, but Mike was staring glumly at me. When he saw me looking he smiled and looked away, still ignoring Jessica.

"So… you said you were a ballerina. But you were delivering us packages last night. So are you a ballerina and a delivery boy?" I said, making conversation.

"Um, no… I'm not…" he mumbled.

"What?"

"I'm not a ballerina, I'm a mechanic" he smiled. I smiled back and he gawked at me. I glanced away. I wish I could make him lost interest in me. Alice really overdid the Barbie stuff on me.

I saw Alice gracefully walk past and wink at me. She went over to Jessica and Mike's tables.

"Excuse me? Can we please see you at the front desk? We found something we believe belongs to the two of you" she said.

"Hi Alice" said Jessica, smiling. Alice ignored her.

"Follow me, please."

Jessica and Mike stood and followed Alice over to the front desk. Nick watched them go. He turned to me.

"I just don't get it with those two. They're supposed to be a 'couple', but they don't act it. You can easily see that Jessica wants Mike, but Mike just isn't… _Mr. Right _for her. You know what I mean?" he said. I smiled and hid my snort with a cough. He was trying to prove to me that he knew a lot about relationships, trying to impress me.

Suddenly, the door burst open and Edward walked in, wearing a suit, holding a bouquet of flowers in one hand and a velvet box in the other. He walked up to me and gave me the flowers. I blushed. Now there was a proper man, my fiancé. He bent down on one knee and opened the velvet box.

"Isabella Marie Swan. I love you, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you, I want to be with you for eternity, and now, I ask for you to do me the honour of becoming my wife" he proposed. I grinned.

"Oh Edward…"

Nick stood up angrily. "Have you got a problem? How DARE you propose to my girlfriend while we're having our date!" he spat and punched Edward in the face. Of course, it didn't hurt Edward one bit. He merely stuck his tongue out at Nick and grinned.

"GIRLFRIEND?" I yelled, standing to my feet, "HOW _DARE _YOU! I'M NOT YOUR GIRLFRIEND! WHY WOULD YOU EVER THINK THAT SOMEONE LIKE ME WOULD EVER GO FOR SOMEONE LIKE YOU?"

Was that a tear rolling down his left cheek? "But… our date…" he mumbled.

"HA!" I spat, "Tonight was only to find out who the caller was from last night. I would _never _consider dating you. Edward is my boyfriend; we've been together for about two years! Now we're going to get married, as well."

Of course, Edward had proposed to me a long time ago and the date had been set for next week. Nick put his head down and burst into tears. Edward rolled his eyes and took my arm.

"Don't worry about him" he muttered.

"Come on Bella, my dear fiancé. Let's go" he said loudly. I took his hand and we walked out, smiling. We sat in my car and burst out laughing as Edward sped down the road.

"You did well" he chuckled.

"So did you!" I giggled, "What were his thoughts?"

"That you were perfect for him and that somehow he'd win you over." I raised my eyebrow at Edward, who chuckled softly.

"Charlie called Esme and Carlisle this morning" said Edward, "Charlie won't be returning until late the night before the wedding. But he'll be there for you on your big day."

"Renée! Is she still coming?" I remembered.

"Yeah, she's still coming, but Phil can't. He has to work" he replied. It was good that Phil wasn't coming, Charlie would feel sad if he saw him. I kind of think he still has feelings for Renée.

We pulled up in Edward's drive way and he pulled me over to him, kissing me gently on the lips. He pulled away, smiling.

We got out of the car and walked up to the front door.

"WOW!" screamed Emmett's voice.

"THIS IS AWESOME! WHY DIDN'T I EVER TRY THIS?" that was Jasper.

We walked in and peered through Carlisle's office door. Jasper and Emmett were on the computer and we knew what they were doing. Edward put a finger to my lips and strode away to the loungeroom, to where Carlisle was watching TV. Edward whispered something in his ear and he stood up, looking angry. He walked straight past me, threw open the door to his office, fuming.

"Jasper? Don't tell me he's got you into porn as well!"

"Just look at those thighs, Carlisle!" urged Emmett.

"See?" said Jasper, turning to Carlisle, "How can you not ignore him while he's going on like that?"

Carlisle reached for the power button on the wall, he flicked it off.

"Emmett, I've had enough. How many times has it been over the last two days? This calls for punishment" said Carlisle, trying to remain calm.

"Punishment?" groaned Emmett. Carlisle grinned.

"I'll give you your punishment later. Now get out of my office!" he commanded.

Just then, my phone began to ring. It was Nick.

"_Hi Bella_."

"Nick? How did you get my number?"

"_Bella… don't marry him. He doesn't love you like I do._

"Listen Nick, I don't want to hear it. Leave me alone and never call this number again."

"_The caller from last night was Alice. She ordered those packages. Bella… I love you… marry me! Leave Edward. I know there's a connect…"_

I snapped my phone shut and frowned.

"Who gave the lunatic my number?" I demanded.

Emmett burst out laughing. "Guilty of all charges!" he laughed. I frowned at him, sighing.

"Do me a favour and get me a drink" I commanded.

"But…"

Carlisle frowned. "Emmett, do it." Emmett rolled his eyes and left the room, muttering to himself.

I collapsed onto the lounge next to Edward and sighed as Emmett re-entered the room and handed me a glass of water. I raised the drink to my lips and skulled it. Uh oh… not sleeping tablets again! I could feel myself drifting into a long sleep.

_DREAM: _

I was sitting, tied to a chair, wearing a white wedding dress next to Nick. There was a little priest reading from his book. Nick bent down to try and…

_END OF DREAM _

I opened my eyes and sat up angrily.

"EMMETT!" I yelled, "I JUST HAD THE MOST REVOLTING DREAM!"

Emmett smiled and burst out laughing.

"Emmett" said Edward, calmly.

"What?"

"Shut up."

I smiled at Edward; he was my guardian, my protector, my lover.

"We need to go hunting" said Carlisle. Edward frowned and shook his head.

"Edward…"

"NO! I'm not leaving her here alone!"

"Edward, I haven't seen anything bad. Bella can handle herself" reasoned Alice.

He sighed and looked at me. I nodded and he sighed.

"We won't be long Bella. Don't move off of that lounge and don't get yourself into trouble, okay?"

"Okay Edward" I promised. He kissed me on the cheek and then was gone with his family. I would be fine. Victoria, James and Laurent were dead. I felt someone put a hand over my mouth and I tried to scream. Apparently, Alice _was _right. I was a magnet for trouble, and someone was kidnapping me.


	8. Pranking for eternity

I felt the rather cold hands remove themselves from my mouth. I turned and growled at the person who was rolling around the floor laughing his head off.

"Emmett!" I hissed.

He sat up and grinned at me.

"Did I scare you?" he asked. I folded my arms and pouted.

"Why aren't you out hunting with the others?" I demanded.

"I went hunting yesterday, Bella" he said, a wicked grin on his face. I rolled my eyes.

"So Edward has assigned you to watching me?"

He grinned.

"Yeah… well… yeah. He has. You need to have an early night, young Bella, or I'll have a very angry male vampire on my hands."

--

The next morning I woke up on the floor of the loungeroom to the sound of the doorbell. I looked over at the lounge to see Edward sitting, smiling at me. I stood up and stretched as Edward went over to the door.

"Newton!" he snarled, "Go deliver some bras to your mommy." I walked over to his side to see Nick Newton standing there holding a box of chocolates in one hand and flowers in the other.

"At least my mommy's ass ain't…"

"Shut up. Goodbye" snarled Edward.

"Sure, have fun with your mommy's ass…"

"Shut UP. Goodbye" snarled Edward, slamming the door angrily.

We walked up the stairs and into Emmett and Rosalie's room where Emmett, Rosalie, Alice, Jasper and Esme were huddled in a circle.

"Okay Emmett, Hannah Montana, I miss you… rock version!" giggled Jasper. Emmett grinned and stood up.

"I MISS YOU…" he screamed, "I MISS YOUR GOD DAMN SMILE!"

He stopped and looked down at Esme.

"What's my rating, judge Esme?" he asked.

"Zero point two out of ten!" she laughed. He frowned and kicked the chair. He looked up at Edward and grinned.

"What was that about a mommy's ass?" he asked laughing. Edward frowned and punched him in the chest.

"OI!" screamed Emmett pushing Edward into the wall.

"Let's fight!" snapped Edward.

"Fine. Outside. Esme judges."

Edward pulled me onto his back as we all jumped out of the window and landed on the grass.

"Everyone get back" ordered Esme as Emmett and Edward circled each other. They jumped on top of each other and rolled around yelling. I looked up to see a plane circling overhead. The bottom of the plane opened and we found ourself showered in bras and undies of all colours.

"The pranks just never stop, do they?" Esme asked me grinning. I smiled.

"I think we'll be enduring pranks for the rest of eternity."


	9. Sequel!

**Hey guys! There are going to be no more chapters because Evil Little Prankster is over, but I enjoyed getting all of your reviews and writing each chapter so much, that I just had to make a sequel! It's called "Newton's a goner" And I hope you all read it and review me on it! Thanks for all your support!**

**-Bellapouts**


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